As of Monday Sept 3, I no longer am the Mom to "children". My baby is now 21 years old...21 years? HOLY COW! I remember it like it was yesterday...detail for detail...not feeling well over the Christmas holidays, exhausted for New Years...then the next week...the verdict! I had not told anyone, maybe it was a denial thing? Afterall, I was almost 37, there was no way I could be pregnant!! I mean I had a 7 year old and a 12 year old!!! I was waiting to get back into nursing school, I had way too much going on in my life to be pregnant! I secretly bought a home pregnancy test, went into my bathroom and waited. I didn't have to wait very long. I opened the door just a tiny bit and asked Rene' to please come and see. As he walked in, the tears just came as I said "I'm pregnant". He said "YOU'RE WHAT???" How did that happen??? Seriously??? He really asked that! He let me cry as I kept saying, "I'm too old, I have to go back to school." We decided to wait and tell the boys until I went to the Dr. When we did tell them, they were ecstatic!!! Me? I cried for 2 weeks!! Don't get me wrong, its not that I didn't want a baby...but I didn't think I had time for a baby! Once we told family and friends, it sunk in and the tears stopped. The one person who really made me feel okay about this was my Dad...he always had such wise words for us. He said "This is your little girl and everything will be alright". And he was right...on both counts! It was a girl and everything was alright! She was my lifesaver in so many ways...more than she will ever realize! We named her Addie...a name I had always loved. My grandmother's name was Adles and she was the best grandmother ever, so I wanted to honor her in a small way. So Addie it was. She was born 21 years to the day that my grandmother was buried...the circle of life. Two years after Addie was born, our firstborn, Joshua, passed away. There are no words that can begin to describe the pain and heartache of losing a child...none! I wanted to just die and be with him. But reality was that I had 2 other children who needed their Mom. Thank God for them both because I honestly don't know if things would have turned out as they did. Thank you Jordan and Addie. Several of my lady friends that I used to play cards with would tell me, "she's going to keep you young". And in a sense, she did. I can tell you tho, turning 40 with a 2 year old was mind boggling to me! We have had many ups and downs...more ups than downs. We have laughed, cried, yelled,shared, played and been each others shoulder at one time or another. She is my BFF! Some people say parents should not be their kids BFF's. I say POO on them. I think if you are a good parent and lead them in the right direction in life then it's okay to also be their BFF! I would hope that I have done that with both of my kids. So as it goes, my children are adults. And I think we did a mighty fine job. Sure we have made mistakes along the way...but its the end result that matters the most. I am proud to be the Mom to my adult "children"!
And I love them with all that I am.
Thanks Dad....You were so right! Everything is alright!
My Dad holding Addie
And my Addie today!